Sometimes we have more control over how well or how bad a relationship is going. We can’t always blame the other person when issues arise. Sometimes it’s something that’s being done over and over which eventually becomes a breaking point that causes you or your significant other to walk away. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but from personal experiences and those of others around me, I have compiled a list of five things that could potentially ruin your relationship. If it means anything to you, you’ll work on it to make things better.
Relationships are definitely work and if you feel it’s worth the effort, you’ll evaluate yourself and see if any of these reasons could be affecting your own relationship. If so, it’s time to make some improvements.
Each time promises are broken it erodes the foundation of trust. It doesn’t even have to be something big. Small broken promises over the course of time leads to mistrust.
For example I dated someone who would always say he was taking me somewhere, that he bought me some ‘gift’ or was going to surprise me with something. He claimed to have bought me some blue necklace, three months later, I still had yet to see this so-called necklace. With frequent little things like this I slowly didn’t believe anything he said. Every broken word, became the building blocks to lack of trust in the relationship.
Honour your word.
Not Making Time
Spending time with each other is part of the foundation of a healthy relationship. These days with communication happening frequently on mobile devices, so many people are not spending enough face to face time. It’s very critical to have that time with your significant other.
There is something about being in the physical presence of your mate that forms a stronger bond than when you’re apart. It’s part of the reason long distance relationships have difficulty surviving.
If you both have busy schedules you have to consciously plan times you will be together. If you value the relationship you both will make the effort to do this so that things don’t fall apart.
Not Expressing Your Concerns
Being open and communicating with your partner is so important. When there is something bothering you don’t be afraid to express it. One of the worst things is holding in your feelings or concerns about issues that may be bothering you. If you allow it to fester, one day you will eventually blow up and then things can get out of control.
Staying silent about things that may bother you can also make your partner completely unaware that it is even bothering you. How does he/she know if you don’t say anything at all? People are not mind-readers.
With texting, whatsapp, messenger and other forms of electronic communication, too many couples are not spending adequate time talking. I know, talking on the phone may seem old-fashioned, but there is something about hearing your partner’s voice that signals a connection far greater than a whatsapp message.
Tone of voice is often misinterpreted in text communication that a voice can completely change. I had a conversation with a friend of mine who was distraught over a ‘conversation’ she had with her boyfriend. When I asked her, “What did his voice sound like when he said it to you?” She shrugged her shoulders and said, “This was all by text.” I said “What! You have no idea. Just call him and talk.”
I’ve witnessed couples sitting at a dinner table in a restaurant and they are not even talking. Both have their heads down, looking at their mobile devices, communicating to others. Have you done this?
What’s the point of being together if you are both on your devices chatting with other people? Just tell people you are busy and stay focused in your moment. Better yet, both of you put your devices away for specified periods of time so you can focus on each other.
The other problem is when one partner is on their device, ignoring the other. One person feels neglected and the other is oblivious to it. Caught up in their virtual world or perhaps chatting with someone else. If you don’t want to spend quality time in way that benefits both of you, what’s the point?