While going through twitter updates this evening I came across an interesting tweet and just had to share because I think it really strikes a chord with many women.

@JaamesArthur23

“Cheating on a girl is deeper than people realize.  It destroys her outlook on love, her future relationships & peace within herself.”

I truly agree that when a woman is cheated on it completely changes her outlook on love.  It definitely has an effect on the way she behaves in future relationships and she is not usually at peace with herself or the relationships she goes into after.  The only way to really get past it is to allow for a period of healing.

One of the mistakes many women (and men) make is not giving themselves the time to heal before jumping into a new relationship.  Every person’s level and time needed to heal is different.  Two years ago I had gotten out of a relationship and despite the fact I had a great connection with an amazing man, I decided I needed the time to heal from past hurts.  Past relationships that destroyed my ability to trust a man because of cheating.  Had I jumped too soon I would have brought that bad baggage into a new relationship and that isn’t fair to any man.

For many women it could be boyfriends who cheated, fathers who cheated on their mothers or friends they have seen being cheated on.  A number of factors can play into a woman’s outlook on love being changed.

The first step is to take time to yourself.  Become at peace with who you are and remember not to blame yourself for what went wrong.  The only people who really know what happened in a relationship are those two people who were in it.  So laying blame isn’t something I will do.  What I think is we can all find some responsibility in things going wrong.  However ultimately the person who committed the act that broke the trust is the one who crossed the line to truly destroy it.

Forgiveness is so important to get inner peace and be able to move forward.  One of the hardest things to do is forgive someone who has done you wrong.  Especially someone you gave your heart to openly.  But I believe it’s the first step in the process of true healing.  Once you have been able to get through it, then and only then is your heart really open to the next person walking into your life.