When you think of detox what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Diet?
These days we often hear the term ‘detox’ used heavily in the health and diet industry so I’m not surprised if that’s the first thing you thought of. Usually it involves eating something that will help you flush out all the toxins in your body. The other is completely eliminating something out of your diet.
Perhaps this is something we should try with our relationships too. Completely eliminate someone out of your life in order for you to become emotionally healthy again. When a romantic relationship ends it can be so hard to just give it up. Especially if it’s been a part of your life for a very long time. It’s similar to being addicted to something; drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping. How about being addicted to chocolate, or sugar or anything that you’ve been told to stop eating? It’s very hard. That’s how hard it is trying to eliminate someone you love. All your emotions and habits are tied to this person so it seems impossible to make a clean break. You know the person isn’t right for you, but you can’t seem to take a break away. And just like other things you try your best to stay away from, just when you think you’ve been clean for awhile all it takes is one relapse and your starting all over again.
1. Limit Social Media
In this day and age of social media connectedness. It’s nearly impossible to not know what’s happening in that other person’s life. Especially when you both may have so many common friends. It may take a little time for you to remove all those old photos of you together. Remember that it may be unavoidable to see what’s going on in his life when you share social circles. Try not to get too worked up when you see something in your news feed.
You may have to disconnect for a period of time while you go through healing (although I don’t suggest this works for everyone because it means your cutting off from all you other friends too because of one person). Your best bet is to delete this person from your ‘friends’ on Facebook. Perhaps unfollow on other social sites like Twitter or Instagram. The more you can limit contact, the easier it will be to move forward.
Your best bet is to cut ties altogether until you have completely healed. When you get to the point when his/her presence doesn’t bother you any more, that’s when you’ll be in a good place.
2. Don’t Call
Sometimes it just takes seeing one post on Facebook to make you relapse and call him. Afterwards you’re like, “Ugh, why did I do that?” Then you feel like all the progress you made was set back with that one call.
What made you call in the first place? Well, similar to when an addict is trying to get off drugs or alcohol, you were experiencing withdrawal symptoms. You needed to get that ‘fix’ and hear his voice, talk to him, feel his presence. Isn’t that the feeling? Then once you do, you’re so upset with yourself for calling.
Find a good friend you can always count on. Someone willing to take your call instead of him. So when you have the urge to make contact, call your friend instead! Trust me you will feel better.
3. Put Your Energy Into Something
Instead of spending countless hours thinking about the relationship, find a way to put your energy into an activity. Join a group, club, the gym or anything to keep you busy. A part of detox involves replacing the old habit with something that is not going to be harmful to your emotional health.
Yes. Get yourself to writing. It is definitely something that helps many people release energy and emotions when they put it on paper or on your digital devices. They say that some of the best work comes from writing through painful experiences. Who knows you could have a best-selling story on your hands. Not only that, but relationship experiences allow you to learn only about yourself. Once you write it, you may even take notice of some of the things you may also have been responsible for in the relationship. Sometimes we spend so much time blaming the other person that we don’t stop and see what we also were at fault for things going awry. It also gives you an opportunity to share your experience with others so they can also learn from you.